So after the hell of later today (quiz about which i know nothing @ 10am.. start work on group project @ 10:30.. work on that til lab starts @ 2pm.. continue working this in lab... if it's not done, continue work til 4.. at which time partners go to finals.. I go to FIRST meeting and calc studying.. then calc exam @ 6... praying the group project is done cause I HAVE to go home for some things... then well, laundry.. finishing making playbook... getting a hampster.. and oh yeah, sleep cause i'm leaving at 6:30am for regionals on Thursday...)...

So yeah.. what was i saying.. I'll be at FIRST competitions all this weekend.. hopefully with a little time to spare for fun and relaxation in between... it will be major ackwardness to not stay at the competitions but heck.. i'll learn to deal..

I love you. Don't ever change. Unless you start sucking. Then I give you permission to change.
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Song(s) to d/l:
Let's Go Crazy - Prince
Rape Me - Nirvana
Unforgetful You - Jars of Clay

Funny horoscopes from theonion.com

Aries: (March 21--April 19)
You will be surprised to learn that even refrigerators can burn if they manage to get hot enough.

Taurus: (April. 20--May 20)
You've always thought the difference between you and other people was your uncommon empathy, but it turns out it's the tentacles.

Gemini: (May 21--June 21)
Your insistence on wearing a helmet every time you ride your bike turns out to be smart in light of your wishes for an open-casket funeral.

Cancer: (June 22--July 22)
You knew that the veins in the human body, stretched end-to-end, would reach from L.A. to Tokyo, but it's still impressive to see it firsthand.

Leo: (July 23--Aug. 22)
You will learn from bitter experience that it's not a good idea to ask certain people how they're doing.

Virgo: (Aug. 23--Sept. 22)
You will have your name immortalized for future generations on a fancy plaque after perishing in next Sunday's O'Hare Airport disaster.

Libra: (Sept. 23--Oct. 23)
Though New York still refuses to award you the keys to the city, the citizens of Cleveland have seen fit to tell you their locker combination.

Scorpio: (Oct. 24--Nov. 21)
You have blossomed following a period of unprecedented spiritual and emotional growth. Now, however, it is time for a lot of injudicious pruning.

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22--Dec. 21)
You've listened to it over and over, but you still fail to see how Frampton is supposed to "come alive."

Capricorn: (Dec. 22--Jan. 19)
Your irrational fear of doctors will finally disappear this week and be replaced by a very rational, justified fear of them.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20--Feb. 18)
You will wish you had heeded your mother's warnings concerning pickle consumption when you suddenly turn into one of the briny cucumbers.

Pisces: (Feb. 19--March 20)
You're beginning to think that, though it seemed satisfying at the time, perhaps voting for Nader was not the most politically astute thing you've done.
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Song(s) to d/l:
Gloria - Laura Branigan
Your Song - Elton John
Famous - Vertical Horizon

You don't how you met me
You don't know why
You can't turn around and say goodbye
All you know is when I'm with you
I make you free
And swim through your veins
Like a fish in the sea

I'm singin.... follow me everything is all right
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find no body else like me..

I'm not worried about the ring you wear
Cause as long no one knows
Than no body can care
You're feeling guilty and I'm well aware
But you don't look ashamed and baby..
I'm not scared...

I'm singin.... follow me everything is all right
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find no body else like me..

Won't give you money
Can't give you the sky
You're better off if you don't ask why
I'm not the reason you go astray
And we'll be alright if you don't ask me to stay

Follow me everything is all right
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find no body else like me..

Don't know how you met me
You don't know why
you can't turn around and say goodbye
All you know is that when I'm with you..
I make you free
And swim through your veins
Like a fish in the sea..

I'm singin.... follow me everything is all right
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find no body else like me..

Follow me... everything is all right... I'll be the one to tuck you in at night.. and if you want to leave I can guarantee you won't find nobody else like me...
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Song(s) to d/l:
Follow Me - Uncle Kracker (as seen above)
Next Year - Foo Fighters
Good Enough - Three Orange Whips

I know... I forgot my weekly story update...

Soon enough.. I was too busy occupying all my free time :-P

Fitting of a lot of things/people right now:

"I'm at a stage in my life where I'm having a hard time caring about things. Fortunately, I don't care." --Jack Kolber

Ignorance is not bliss when it's only make believe. Sometimes you just have to suck up the fake denial and admit to the truth. Yes it hurts. But it doesn't match the pain you put others through; you can handle it.

Admit the world doesn't revolve around you. Admit that you don't have it quite as hard as you would like to believe. Admit that hell, someone could be right even if it's not the most promising things about you they are saying. Admit that you're the one that has to change because they've picked up the slack long enough.

Don't get mad, make yourself even.
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Song(s) to d/l:
She's Got Issues - Offspring
Famous Last Words - Jars of Clay
Life's a Lemon - Meatloaf

T minus something in counting..

it is 3:30ish AM on Monday.. just got back from tending to the SpiderGoat... and ahhh.. the glorious moment that the clock strikes 5 on Tuesday.. then all us folks that have been down there everynight working our butts off for the team (at least in my case, trying to :-) can sigh in relief... that's of course after prolly never going to sleep until tuesday at 5... :):)

and then.. wow... i may have my life back for a little bit... :-P
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Song(s) to d/l:
WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT!
Sheep Go to Heaven - Cake
Who Needs Sleep - Barenaked Ladies

on comes Chapter 2 in the weekly saga of funniness and futility... my goal since the robot ships tues at 5pm is to start updating daily once again.. with the saturday installments of these random bits of psuedo-fiction

if you ever find one about yourself.. don't take offense.. it's all in good fun :):) you can feel free to write stories of me too :-P

fyi on the robot.. that puppy looks sweet.. it's 5lbs overweight.. but it's all good.. we can get that off... the SpiderGoat will ride ;-)
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This week's story-ish

My Friend Kate is a Hand Holding Whore

I have this friend
Her name is Kate
She has no boys
that she dates
but whenever she sees one
she thinks is a stud
she grabs onto their hand
as if she's a glove

sometimes they care
and sometimes they don't
but once she's got you,
let go she won't

she isn't a slut
she's rather pure
it just seems to be
she's a hand holding whore

in bowling alleys
she doesn't want the balls
points don't matter
not one bit, at all...

just get a cute boy
within arms reach
and Kate has her strike
for the rest of the week

Sweaty palms
are just no match
For a girl with a plan
and a strong grip attached

then in his woodchuck
after the fact
the boys always say
it was her solo act
but according to her
they squeezed back

so still to this day
it remains to be seem
how Kate can be good
and bad on the scene

such a nice girl
with a somewhat awkward way
that into a boy's
her hands seem to sway

so the saga of the whore
forever lengthens
just watch out
you may be the next victim

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Kato knows I love her! And she was always begging me to write about it...

Next week stay tuned for a little story about "Airline Amy"

Song(s) to d/l:
Just a Girl - No Doubt
I Touch Myself - (don't know who sings)
She's Got A Way - Billy Joel

I needed a serious post (see below) cause it's been a while... now onto the funny.. cause funny is better and better is gooder than worse...
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Once upon a time there was a pie. Not just any pie... an apple pie. This apple pie's name was Fred.

Fred was a happy pie all the way from the start. He loved his dough to be kneaded and even moreso, the wonderful encasement of the warm apples on his dough. The baker had the perfect touch, patting Fred to perfection and sliding him into the nice warm oven. Fred would become warm and toasty all over and his dough and the apples would get very hot.

The baker, who's name was Jim, was very proud of Fred. He had felt that Fred was simply the best there had ever been. No cream puff could ever touch what Fred. Jim became so attached that no one else could touch Fred either. He kept Fred in protective covering, taking him out only to admire and touch his work of art. It was like an extension of himself.

For long before that, Jim had felt he was lacking something in his life. All day long he walked around playing with his magic wand. He never wanted to let go of it.. it even doubled as an easy grip handle. The emptyness Jim felt in his life was somewhat filled the feel of the magic wand in his hand. He could joke with it, stroke it, swing it around, or just hold it and it didn't complain. It loved Jim's touch, and as long as it had that, they both seemed to have everything.

The more looks Jim got from passers-by, the more Jim questioned his relationship with his magic wand and wondered if that's not what should be filling his time. Business to his bakery had drastically dropped. He decided maybe he needed a Princess to hold his magic wand for a while. He searched and searched and searched and couldn't find the right one (or one at all for that matter). He decided he'd settle for anything. And one day he found just anything. After a while, Jim decided to trust his new Princess with his precious magic wand. At first things seemed ok. Then his magic wand began to be droopy and sad whenever the Princess got her hands on it. Jim realized he never really could find some to replace the relationship that he and his magic wand had had for so many years.

Such ended Jim's search for a Princess. His magic wand became perky once again and his love for it continue as usual. And despite the lack of customers, Jim continue his work at the bakery... still feeling the void in his life but slightly hopeless that nothing could ever fill it.

So he woke up on morning, magic wand in hand, feeling that that day would be different. Maybe this was the epiphany. Maybe it was the end of the world. Maybe it was indigestion. In any case, he felt refreshed and ready to face the world.

He arrived at work and began making his pie. It started out innocently but grew and grew in his hands. This was something great. Bigger than anything he had ever experienced. In his very hands this apple pie began to form into a work of art. It was then in there Fred was created unto this world.

As Fred matured into the pie he is now, Jim drew ever more confident that this was what he was missing all along. Fred was with whom is magic wand belonged. They were a perfect fit. The warm, juicy apple pie and Jim's magic wand fit like hand and glove.

And Jim, his magic wand, and Fred lived as happily ever after as a Baker, his wand, and the Prince he never thought he'd find could...
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Stay tuned for more wacky stories that are a little mix of truth, fiction, and sheer stupidity..
...Next time... My friend Kate is a hand-holding whore...

Song(s) to d/l:
Tonight is the Night I Feel Asleep at the Wheel - Barenaked Ladies
You Sexy Thing - Hot Chocolate
It's All Coming Back to Me Now - Celine Dion

Someone once told me "everyone is put on this planet to do something... some of them are here to teach you tolerance..." He always said it.. I always believed it.

It still rings very true.

But more than that, I have always believed that there is something stronger controlling our destinys, controlling what we are meant to do. It's those times in your life when you just don't know why you turned around, called someone, did something at just a certain that was most important. It's like some supernatural force drives you to do it. You don't question it. You don't doubt it (at least at the time). You just do it. It's somewhat awestriking... somewhat humbling... too often, disheartening.

In respect to other people, I think that everyone that passes through our lives does so for a reason... if not to teach us something about ourselves, to lead us out of the dark.. into the dark... or back again. And as much as all those people in our lives are meant to be there for us... we have that job with other people...

And that's what makes it hard. When you wonder if you should let go and something bigger keeps you holding on. When something won't let you move on... when something won't let you be pushed away no matter how incredibly hard someone tries.

And with the heartache it puts you through... I can't help but wonder who is being taught the lesson.. me or them. Maybe both.. maybe neither...

Maybe I'm wrong. But I hope I'm right... cause if not I fear my life has been futile.
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Song(s) to d/l:
I'm Alright - Jars of Clay
No Rain - Blind Melon
Losing My Religion - REM

So I was supposed to be all stylish and update my blogger today with a new thought.... (believe.. I have plenty of 'em)..

But I'm being lazy... ah well.. soon enough..

But note the added "commentability"... say your thoughts on what I write now as well by clicking on "So.. what do you think?"

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Song(s) to d/l:
I'm Movin' On - Rascal Flatts
Love, Peace, and Grease - BT
Never There - Cake

Love stinks.

Well, not really.. just sometimes I guess.

Love stinks when it's so close to that "friendship/something more" line that you can't tell the difference, you don't know what you want, you don't know what you deserve, and you don't know your own limits to retain what, or whom, you think is rightfully yours.

So yeah, love stinks.

And jealousy even more. As much as we all like to think we would or wouldn't get jealous.. it really takes something happening for us to truly know.. or to for the first time be willing to admit to our true feelings. Often times it's too late. Too unfortunate. Too much to handle, so much so that it can be taken the wrong way.. expressed the wrong way.. and just become plain wrong...

Love Stinks.

But love itself.. it's such a wonderful thought. Just the thought of someone loving you. Always there for you. Always. Such a great thought.

If only we're all so lucky to have it, we'd all be ok.

And if you are so lucky.. never take it for granted... never see fault.. never wonder if there is better. Just understand how one-in-many you are and be forever thankful... that you have someone who would give their everything for you. Who loves you that much, who cares that much. It's a crazy thought.. but some people don't understand.. they just don't see. They are so busy looking for something that isn't love.. that they miss what is.. the poor souls who miss them.. and the even poorer ones who are missed. Because they knew the truth that others couldn't see.

If only all of us were so blind to see... this world would be wonderful...

"lost and lonely.. now you've given me the will to survive.. when we're hungry, love will keep us alive" - Eagles
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Song(s) to d/l:
Love Will Keep Us Alive - Eagles
I Will Love You - Fisher
It's Not Just Me - Rascal Flatts
Two Out of Three Ain't Bad - Meatloaf

Funny are things--- i decided to read my extended horoscope for the year 2001...

I hate when these things know what they're talking about!!

although the full thing is revealing yet insightful.. (http://www.go.com/Center/Horoscopes?np=ag.html&key=forecast_year_year_Cancer) here's the "summary".. you may not care..but i found this interesting.. :-P

2001 could turn out to be the best year of your life, thanks to the planet of good fortune, Jupiter, moving into Cancer this July — a once-in-twelve-year opportunity. By then, you'll be ready to start a new personal cycle of emotional, physical, and even financial growth. The progress that ensues will astound you! Before that can happen, though, you must be willing to look at your life and decide what stays and what goes. Cut out all the projects and people who have drained your time and resources. Wrap up old obligations to ready yourself for the exciting new projects coming your way. Most importantly, draw up a list of goals that you have been hesitant to attempt to reach, and choose the one that means the most to you. Although you may have no inkling yet of the massive support you are about to receive from people around you, assuredly it is about to arrive, and it may stun you in its sheer intensity. The coming year is all about using the force of your personality to affect change in your life — it's up to you to begin the process. You are a reserved and often modest person, so simply being yourself is the best thing you can do. If you're single, a soul mate may be attracted to you right now.

As you closed the door on the old millennium and turned to face the new one, at first you may not have known quite what to do to get started. As 2001 progresses, you achieve a sense of purpose and have enough humor to give things a try. You seem less stiff and less afraid of taking a risk in the second half of the year, and that's as it should be. The fates are on your side, dear Cancer, and if you get a feeling that it's now or never, good — the feeling will propel you to act. Step up to the plate and knock that ball right out of the park, dear Cancer! We are all waiting to see you do it!

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Song(s) to d/l
Call & Answer - Barenaked Ladies
Where Have All the Flowers Gone - Peter, Paul, & Mary
Objects in the Rearview Mirror - Meatloaf

For those of you regular readers... sorry for the lack of cool written stuff...

Watch tonight/morning for an update...

For now.. quench your thirst by downloading some cool songs---

Janis Joplon - Me and Bobby McGee
Spin Doctors - Little Miss Can't Be Wrong
The Jayhawks - Blue

And ANYONE who can download music-- I need Collective Soul stuff!! off their Fortress album-- it's so good..
.. songs like Beautiful Thing and Shame on You..

If you can get 'em for me.. i'll love you forever and ever and ever!!

Life's not so bad... getting slightly better...

Updating the page.. should be coooool by night ending...

Be afraid.. be very afraid :-P

This is not my freakin' night...

I wrote this whole blogger.. and then they gay window from the game I closed cause I didn't get to play cause apparently some nights I'm just not good enough for some people to bother with goes and opens in this window and loses my whole blogger...

So in less fluid and more abrupt words... Why the hell do I care so much for people who can't give a fuck in return?

I try to give to people when they need it.. make time for everyone.. care.. love.. make people happy... but when I need a little relax time or someone to love me... no.. apparently their time is a little more precious than mine.

I really like my other blogger... but I don't care to rewrite it now..

Maybe tomorrow sometime... who knows..

who cares...

do you?

Civilization isn't defined by the advancements in technology but rather by the intentions of the people within it...
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Song(s) to d/l: Life's Gonna Suck - Dennis Leary
Sunrays and Saturdays - Vertical Horizon
It's Not Just Me - Rascal Flatts