a song of revival

so i am going to begin reviving some of my old written works in hopes that even if it doesn't mean much to you, it might motivate me to start writing more again.. which is always a goal i fail so miserably at attaining...

so here's one from june 18th, 1998.....

why?

Because society makes me. They want me to conform to their ideals, believe their opinions, think their thoughts, dream their dreams, but all at the same time retain my individuality- be myself and be inspired. They tell me to follow their yellow brick road and as long as I walk the way I like, be it trotting, skipping, meandering or backwards, I will remain my own person. I will lay my own bricks (and I would prefer them to be purple). "I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

Because my parents want me to. They don’t want me to succeed but rather to be a success- to get a good job and earn money. I want to do what I want to do and if it pays nothing in cash, I’m sure I will learn an invaluable lesson from doing it. Money cannot buy you love, happiness, respect or concern, nor can it help you succeed; a success it may help you become, but fame means nothing. I want to live. I want to learn, to plant my seeds and grow up tall and strong- penniless if necessary- but I will be happy and I will have succeeded. Remember, "The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

Because my friends think it’s cool. Oh well, so nerdy isn’t in, learning isn’t fun, and school isn’t the happening spot to be- such is life. I’d rather live in the library than die in the streets trying to be ‘cool’, drinking, taking drugs, having sex, and causing trouble. There is no future is doing nothing. I will make a difference, I assure you, and someday you will find me out on the streets, but I won’t be pushing drugs; I will be encouraging success, happiness, education- something worthwhile. I will be spreading the wealth- knowledge that is- of life and experiences, of having succeeded. "I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something, I will not refuse to do the something I can do."

Because I want to. I am here and it is now, it is time; "today I give you my dream." My dream is that of Tennyson, "to strive, to seek, to find and not to yield." My dream is that of King’s. "that one day our nation will rise up" and judge me by only "the content of my character." But still, I have a dream: that I will be appreciated for my individuality and not scorned for my differences; that I will be praised when I have succeeded and not thrown aside since I am not a success; that I will make a difference, in one life or one thousand, and I will be remembered not for one glorious triumph, but in contrast, for one glorious life that I have lived happily, scholarly, and lovingly- the one life that made a mark on souls, that did things worth never forgetting. I will be a hero, in my own right, in my own time, in not only my own mind, but the world’s. I tell you this today, I will not give in to outside forces like the tragic heroes of the past and future; I will let no one hold me back, no one keep me down. I will stand tall and if I get knocked to my knees, I will rise again in conquest. I tell you this now; "I am the voice of today, the herald of tomorrow…I am the leaden army that conquers the world."