"This is what courage is. It's not just living through the nightmare, it's doing something with it afterward. It's being brave enough to talk about it to other people. It's trying to organize to change things."-Leslie Feinberg, Stone Butch Blues
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I can't say I've ever felt this way before, that I understand completely what's going on. Maybe it's just a miscomprehension of the people or situations.. and because my interpretations lead me to believe I'd never be there. Maybe that's it the reason I can't say "i know what you're going through" but to some extent.. we can all know.

Sometimes in life, what's too good to be true is just that. No matter how much you think you want something, how good it seems, it has it's catch.. sometimes it shows up right away.. and you can suspect it from the start and prepare of the events to come. maybe even tango with the inevitable.

Other times, it hits you like a brick wall. Suddenly you see all this time and effort put into something totally negated by someone's lackthereof.. someone that you once thought cared about it but doesn't really anymore... they are in it for the good times and the things that come along with it.. but at the first sign of trouble.. of an easy road... whatever.. they are not around and not the ones to blame..

So it makes you wonder, why should I put in all this effort? Why should I work day in and day out for this person to control the destiny.. for this person to come out on top.. if the inevitable is inevitable.. why should I work when I know it won't change the outcome..

But then again they say, 'it's not the end to the journey towards, it's the journey that matters, in the end'... so is it worth it all for that rough road of good times and bad... is it even worth if you question the road at all... when more often you're saying "stop the world, I want to get off" than pumping quarters into the red corvette in front of Wal-mart...

I wish I had some good advice.. but then I'd be a hypocrite...
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"We're all stuck in the gutter. It's just that some of us look at the stars."
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Song(s) to d/l:
Fire and Rain - James Taylor
I'm Alright - Jars of Clay
Two Out of Three Ain't Bad - Meatloaf