"all colleen's horses and all colleen's men couldn't put jen(n)'s husband back together again..." - fake nightmare dating catastrophe #23

on that note... an excerpt from the "Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating & Sex"

How to carry a date that is passed out

1. Plan to carry your date only for a short distance
Your destination should be a nearby couch, taxi or bed.
2. Prepare to lift
Bend your knees and place your stronger arm under your date's back and the other under his knees. Your arms should go all the way under and across his body.
3. Begin to lift your date
Use the strength of your legs and knees, holding them close to your body and keeping your back straight. Do not lift with your back!!
4. Stand up quickly
In one continuous motion rotate your date's body so that your stronger arm guides him over your opposite shoulder. The motion should be like tossing a sack of potatoes. His upper body should be hanging over your back, his lower body hanging over your front. Steady him with your other hand.
5. Walk to your destination

Useful excuse of tonight: "Not tonight, I have a meeting"